Lack of Imagination

According to most calculations, in particular FIRECalc, I will officially have sufficient savings to retire when I receive my paycheck (and bonus) tomorrow – at 33 years old.  Unless I’m fired today, I will succeed.  Being fired today seems unlikely, however, since I’m on vacation today.  Or, more accurately, I’m taking the day off to fly to Colorado for an interview.

Some people say that they love their job so much that they’d do it for free.  Put another way, they are saying that they would do it even if they didn’t need the money.  I don’t have that job.

Which begs the question: Why am I interviewing for a job?

I’ve thought about this a lot recently.  At first I thought it was fear to do something different, to step out against the norm.  But I’m coming to the conclusion that this simply isn’t true.  I’ve always done things differently – which is how I got in this position in the first place.  So then what is it?

I think I’ve finally figured it out, it’s a lack of imagination.  When I was young, I was constantly exploring, constantly finding new and fun things to do.  I held a good conversation, I went new places, I read new books, I studied philosophy.  But I don’t do those things anymore.  After 4 years of hard-core studying in college followed by 11 years of long hours in a lab and cubicle I’ve found myself burned out and too damned tired to do the things I list above.  And that’s left me with no imagination.  So rather than study philosophy, I surf the net mindlessly.  Instead of studying philosophy, I drink beer.  Instead of going new places, I go to work and I come home.

So where does this leave me?  Well, I believe it leaves me with a choice.  I can keep doing what I’m doing, work hard, be bored (and boring!), save money, live stressful and unhealthy, and die young.  Or I can create a plan to rebuild my imagination, do interesting things, meet new interesting people, learn a language and a musical instrument, and have a million things to do when I quit my job.  That’s when I’ll be ready to retire.  I choose this second option.

If I do take a new job, which I’ll probably do, I’ll do it for a minimum of one year (to pay for my relocation), and a max of 2 years.  At that point, my finances will be ready, but will my imagination?


One Response to Lack of Imagination

  1. Wololo says:

    Reading your entire blog right now. I’m where you were when you wrote this, except I’m not as close as you were to early retirement. Hanging in there

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